Go slowly. There’s really no rush to move quickly into a full-fledged committed relationship. As much fun as it is to get to know someone you like and have him reciprocate those feelings, going slowly will help you keep your emotions in check. Instead of going out on a one-on-one date right away, go out with a group of friends for awhile so you can see him interact with his friends and see how he gets along with yours.

Be prepared. If you do decide to go out on a one-on-one date, be prepared. As much as you might already trust him and know him, it’s always a good idea to have him come in and meet your parents. Make sure you know where you’re going and you tell your parents ahead of time what your plans are. Be sure to take your cell phone and some money. Even though it’s traditional for guys to pay (and that should be your expectation), it’s always a good idea to be prepared for anything.

Know your boundaries. Talk with your parents about what time they should expect you home and make sure your date knows your curfew. Also, set boundaries for yourself physically, emotionally, and conversationally. Know ahead of time whether or not you’re comfortable holding hands with him or having him put his arm around you. Don’t forget that he shouldn’t touch you without your permission. If you’re not comfortable, speak up. If he really likes you, he’ll respect you. Also, don’t feel like you have to share your whole life story on the first date. If the first date goes well, you’ll have time to share more about yourself in the future.

Be yourself. Don’t forget that the object of dating is to get to know someone and for him to get to know you. Eat as much as you would normally. Wear clothes that are comfortable (and modest). Don’t be afraid to laugh and be yourself!

Don’t forget that entering into the world of dating is a big responsibility and shouldn’t be entered into lightly. Song of Solomon 8:4 (NIV) says “Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” Dating can be a lot of fun, but it also creates the potential for a lot of big problems, too. Enjoy getting to know guys as friends before you move onto the world of dating.

So whether you’re counting down the days to February 14 or you’re wishing it wouldn’t come at all this year, having something fun to wear on Valentine’s Day is sure to help!

Color. Pink and red are the staple colors on Valentine’s Day. Here are a few cute pieces that will help you celebrate the day without looking like a walking Valentine. Purple is also a great way to give a nod to the day of love without looking overdone. Plus, pairing a great top with a cute pair of jeans or a denim skirt will help keep you out of costumeville.

Pattern. Though hearts are the mascot of Valentine’s Day, a cute floral pattern in a great shade like this is a great option. I also love this dress, which would be adorable with black leggings. Ruffles are also a great way to look cute and festive. This would be great over a black turtleneck with dark jeans or this would be cute with black pants.

Detail. If you’d rather not acknowledge Valentine’s Day is even happening, consider simply adding a subtle detail to your outfit. Painting your nails one of these great shades of pink or red is one way or try one of these cute accessories.

So, no matter how you’re marking Valentine’s Day this year, remember Ephesians 3:16-19 (NIV), “I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Put a smile on your face knowing that God loves you more than you can ever hope or dream!

Dating isn’t easy. You don’t have to listen very long to your friends talk about boys and relationships and dating to realize that there’s a lot at risk! So, how do you know when you’re really ready to start looking for that special guy? Here are a few things to think about if you think you might be ready.

What do your parents think? As much as it might feel like your parents sole purpose on the earth is to cause you not to have any fun, your parents really do care about you and want the best for you. If your parents have set an age for you to start dating, trust that they have your best interests at heart and listen to what they have to say. If your parents haven’t put an age limit on when it’s OK for you to start dating, ask what they think about it. Even though they might seem old fashioned, they love you and their job is to take care of you. Waiting until you’re older might seem like it will take forever, but life will be a lot simpler if you can learn to trust that your parents really do want the best for you.

What can you gain by dating? By dating, you can learn what you like and don’t like about a guy without committing to a lifelong relationship with him. You can also learn how to handle yourself with a guy while still under your parents’ roof. You can rely on your parents, leaders, and friends to help you navigate getting to know someone. Plus, it can be a lot of fun if you keep your priorities in order. But there’s also a greater risk of getting hurt. Dating can be distracting and can ruin friendships. It can also open the door for other big decisions like whether or not you’re ready to kiss and how to recover from a break-up.

What can you gain by staying friends? If you choose to have guy friends, you can still get to know guys without committing to a lifelong relationship. A lot of times, you can even get to know a guy better by being his friend. There’s no pressure to be impressive or someone you’re not. Plus, you can learn how to handle yourself with wisdom and purity around guys. And there’s really nothing to lose by just staying friends.

So, when you do meet someone that makes you consider whether or not you’re ready to date, make sure you put a lot of thought into the risks and benefits and make sure you seek wise counsel from your parents, trusted friends, and youth leaders.

It seems like love comes in all shapes and sizes. The love you feel for your dad is different than the love you feel for your iPod or Golden Grahams. And how can you tell if you really love someone? Why is it OK to tell your friends you love them, but it’s such a big deal to tell your boyfriend you love him? 

Defining love isn’t easy. In fact, the Bible uses several different words with subtly different meanings that are all translated to our one English word – love.

First Corinthians 13:3-8 (The Message) defines love this way:

“If I give everything I won to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, not matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

“Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always ‘me first,’ doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end.

“Love never dies.”

Love is a big deal. When you tell someone you love them, it means that you’re planning on loving them forever; you’re planning on always being on their side and humbling yourself to put them first.

Are you doing a good job of really loving your family? Do you think of them before you think of yourself? Are you always looking for the best in your family?

Are you loving your friends like Jesus loves us? Have you really forgiven your friends? Are you always rooting for them even if it means they got something you wanted?

Are you really ready to say those three words to a boy? Are you really ready for him to say them to you? Are you really ready to commit to never give up on your relationship with him? Are there other words that might better describe your feelings?

So, as we head into the season of love, take some time to think about the way you love.

Bright tights. Even the smallest pop of color can feel like a breath of fresh air in the winter. One of my favorite ways to add color to my basic winter blacks is to wear some bright colored tights. Not only will they keep your legs nice and warm, but it will freshen up the black dress you’d rather put back in storage.  

Cute boots. Living in a snowy climate for most of my life means I learned how functional boots are at an early age. This season, a cute pair of boots could be a great way to freshen up your look and keep your feet warm and dry. Here are a few of my favorite, fun boots. 

Go bold. Instead of sticking with safe grey, black, and brown, don’t be afraid to brighten things up with a fun, bold color. Here are a few of my favorite bold items. Or if you want to be a little more subtle, try adding a belt, ring, or necklace that will add a fun splash of color. 

So, brighten up your wardrobe and show Punxsutawney Phil six more weeks of winter won’t get you down!

When you start to define yourself by God’s standards and not the standards of the world, it can raise a lot of interesting questions. What, exactly, does it look like to live by God’s standards as a teenager in 2010? What does it look like to dress by God’s standards and still shop at the mall? How does God define beauty?

Living by God’s standards requires an openness to listen for God’s voice and be obedient on a daily basis. He’s provided us all of the answers and guidelines for living, it just might require some thought to find the right answer. Here are a few great verses on God’s definition of beauty. Take some time to think and pray about them and discover how God defines beauty.

1 Peter 3:3-5 (NIV) “³Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. ⁴Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. ⁵For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful…”

I love this verse. Not only does it tell us what “is of great worth in God’s sight,” but it also says that beauty isn’t about having good hair days and having the best accessories. Beauty is about being gentle and quiet.

Proverbs 31:30 (NIV) “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

This verse is probably quoted more than any other when it comes to defining a woman’s beauty, and with good reason. Being able to flirt can be manipulative. Beauty is great, but eventually it will fade. Loving the Lord and following Him with your whole heart is the best way to make yourself beautiful.

Proverbs 11:22 (NIV) “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.”

Proverbs has so many great little nuggets of wisdom. This one is a personal favorite. There really is nothing more disappointing than a pretty girl who flaunts herself around and acts without modesty. Guys might enjoy her for awhile (and if they do they’re probably not the best guys to be interested in in the first place). Ultimately, the best guys are interested in girls who are pretty, but also respect God (and themselves) enough to dress modestly and act wisely.

Philippians 4:8 (NIV) “Finally, brothers [and sisters], whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”

This is probably the most comprehensive definition of beauty in the Bible. The things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable are the things God wants us to concentrate on. Whenever you’re making a decision about what to wear, how to act, who to befriend, where to go, and what to do, think about it through this filter and you’ll have your answer.

The beginning of the year is the perfect time to do some major cleaning. I’m not a big fan of cleaning in general, but I do love the feeling of having a clean, organized closet. The decision about what to wear can have a big impact on my day. If I had trouble finding an outfit, I can start the day off grumpy and insecure. If I have an organized closet, those days are minimal. When you’re cleaning out your closet, here are a few things to keep in mind:

Ask yourself “Do I wear this?” The question is not “Will I wear this if I can find some shoes to go with it?” or “Will I wear this when I lose 5 pounds?” or even “Do I wish I wore this?” The question is “Do I wear this?” A good rule of thumb is if you haven’t worn it in the past 12 months, you’re probably not going to wear it in the next 12 months, so pass it along to someone who will wear it.

Get a second opinion. Make a day of it. Invite a trusted friend over or have your mom help you. If you’re not sure about something, model and ask for an honest opinion. Sometimes clothes look great on the hanger, but simply aren’t flattering. Sometimes things look terrible on the hanger, but look great on. It helps to have someone who will be honest with you. And remember: you asked for their opinion, so don’t be hurt if they’re honest with you.

Give it away. When you’re going through your closet, remember that everything you get rid of will go in someone else’s closet. If you have a top that you rarely wear, but a friend compliments all the time, offer to give it to her. Think of the girl who wouldn’t normally be able to afford clothes like yours, but could afford it at the Goodwill or from your church’s clothing bank.

Trade. Organize a clothing trade with your friends. Have everyone clean out their closets, meet up, and exchange clothes. But, remember that you just cleaned out your closet, so don’t take things just because they’re free. Only what you would be willing to pay for in a store. After the exchange, donate the clothes that are left behind.

Have a system. In my closet, I categorize by tops, jackets, pants, skirts, and dresses, and then organize everything by color. It helps me know where to look when I’m searching for something specific. Plus, it helps me see what colors I gravitate toward, and reminds me what I don’t need when I’m out shopping. For example, the last time I organized my closet, I made my best friend promise that she wouldn’t let me buy any more black shirts after I realized that I already had eight in my closet. Oops!

Be practical. When you’re organizing your closet, don’t go overboard. Don’t use some elaborate folding technique or super complicated hanger mechanism unless you’re going to be able to maintain your organization system. Remember that you’re still the one who has to keep your room clean and organized. Opt for function and simplicity.

Cleaning out your closet can be an adventure. You might even find something you forgot you had!

My friend was quick to point out that that was “something you sure don’t see every day.” She’s right. I can’t say I’ve ever seen a grown man in a fur coat, let alone a floor-length fur coat over a sweat suit to the movie theater. (In his defense, Springfield has been unusually cold lately causing even the most weathered northerners to consider taking extreme measures to stay warm.)

Some might describe that sighting as “unusual,” “strange,” or simply “not normal.”

Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary defines normal as “conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern.” When it comes to defining people as “normal,” what type, standard, or regular pattern are we using?

As girls, it can feel like a full-time job just trying to fit in. Most of the time, staying within the parameters of “normal” involves having the “right” clothes, shoes, and friends. And as a bonus, the “right” things can change at the bidding of a small, closed group of girls who aren’t always nice and don’t take budget into consideration when making their decrees.

Having a personal sense of style or strong opinions isn’t usually a good thing. Making a bold fashion choice or standing up for a friend can bring heaps of ridicule and weeks of ostracism.

Romans 12: 1,2 (NIV) says “¹Therefore, I urge you, brothers [and sisters], in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. ²Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

As Christians, “normal” shouldn’t be defined by the popular group at school, what we see on TV, or even what our friends say. We should measure ourselves by God’s pattern.

Don’t get me wrong: being defined by a different standard than your peers isn’t easy. Hearing people make fun of you for the decisions you make is never fun. Remember that you are God’s and you measure your life by His standard. Eventually, it will get easier. Making hard decisions while you’re in middle school and high school makes decision-making a lot easier as an adult. And, the things that cause people to make fun of you in high school will cause them to respect you in college.

Plus, Jesus knew it would be difficult, so He left us with encouragement. In Matthew 5:11,12 (NIV) He said “¹¹Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. ¹²Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

So, in 2010, allow God to redefine your “normal.” Measure yourself by His type, standard, and pattern.

She even washes our jammies before she wraps them, so we put on a nice, soft, clean set of brand new jammies. Here are a few of my favorite Christmas jammies this year.

I love these flannel pants. Not only are they warm, but flannel just keeps getting better as you wash it. These will be sure to keep you warm and snug during Christmas.

This set is so pretty! Since most of our Christmas pictures are taken with all of us in our Christmas jammies, I always like to have pretty pajamas just in case the Christmas pictures get leaked for public viewing.

My favorite kind of pajamas growing up were one-piece pajamas with footies attached. I was pretty excited when I realized Target sells them in adult sizes. Too fun!

Have a great Christmas cuddled up in your Christmas pajamas!

Christmastime is such a great time of year. Everyone gets to be with family. Everything is happy and perfect. Except when it isn’t.

For some people, Christmas can be a time where difficulties of losing a job are magnified, losing a family member seems even lonelier, and tough family circumstances are even more complicated.

Isaiah 9:2-6 says,

“2 The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death ^[a]
a light has dawned.

3 You have enlarged the nation
and increased their joy;

they rejoice before you
as people rejoice at the harvest,
as men rejoice
when dividing the plunder.

4 For as in the day of Midian’s defeat,
you have shattered
the yoke that burdens them,
the bar across their shoulders,
the rod of their oppressor.

5 Every warrior’s boot used in battle
and every garment rolled in blood
will be destined for burning,
will be fuel for the fire.

6 For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, ^[b] Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”

This is a prophecy about the birth of Jesus. Hundreds of years  before his birth, God thought it was important to let us know that Jesus was coming to be a light in the darkness, to be a Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and Prince of Peace.

Jesus came to earth so that he could understand what you’re going through and how you feel. If you’re going through a difficult time this Christmas season, remember that Jesus came to offer light and comfort to dark and cold places.