Not being an extremely outgoing person unless I’m around a group of people I’m really comfortable with, I was left with a difficult decision to make one Friday night. Attend the women’s rally at church even though I knew I would be going alone since none of my friends could come, or stay at home. I gave myself an epic pep-talk and found renewed confidence and strength. I decided to go to the rally and find people to be my friends. I’d been at this church for a few years — I knew the place — I’m good with people — I could be a friend to someone who needed a friend.
The minute I pulled into the parking lot, however, I felt a shift in the universe. And my confidence plummeted. I walked into the building timidly — not securely. I scanned the auditorium hesitantly — not determinedly. I got out my phone and started frantically texting a few more people who I thought might have been there and would let me sit with them. I walked back out to the atrium and searched for a familiar face like my life depended on it but still saw no one.
I eventually sat with friends of a friend — so, loose acquaintances who already had their group to sit with and now I was just the awkward addition. That night I cried the entire drive home. Not only was I mad at myself for trading in my confidence for insecurity, but I spent the night regretting having even come since I felt more alone than ever before, despite the fact that I knew I had good friends, they just couldn’t be there at that moment.
Being a girl is so amusing, isn’t it? We take potty breaks in groups, we get bent out of shape over seemingly little things, and we hand over our confidence to Satan so he can play all kinds of horrible games with us.
Here’s the biggest lesson I learned that night:
Focus on the truth. When you’re having a moment of insecurity, you’re being irrational, or you just can’t get out of your funk, take a moment to focus on the truth. In my situation, the truth was that I have great friends. They just couldn’t be there that night, so while I sat through what was supposed to be a fun rally feeling like I was so alone and didn’t have any friends, I was just being irrational. I did have friends.
Maybe you’re having an insecure day and you feel like you’re fat, you think you have an ugly face, or that you’re stupid. What truths can you focus on? Maybe you’re not fat but you’re just wearing a shirt that’s not flattering on most body types. Maybe your face is beautiful but you just have a few zits today or your make-up is a little off. Maybe you’re not stupid but you just didn’t do well as you thought you would on this one test. Focus on what’s true in your situation instead of giving in to the lies Satan is feeding you. John 8:44 points out Satan’s intentions directly — “He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies” (NLT).