This time of year is always awash in conversation hearts, red cellophane boxes of chocolate, and pairs of teddy bears with magnets in their noses so they stay in a constant kissing pose (which can’t be comfortable). So, with all the pink and red and cheesy heart-shaped boxes, how can we know what real love is?

It seems like love comes in all shapes and sizes. The love you feel for your dad is different than the love you feel for your iPod or Golden Grahams. And how can you tell if you really love someone? Why is it OK to tell your friends you love them, but it’s such a big deal to tell your boyfriend you love him? 

Defining love isn’t easy. In fact, the Bible uses several different words with subtly different meanings that are all translated to our one English word – love.

First Corinthians 13:3-8 (The Message) defines love this way:

“If I give everything I won to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, not matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

“Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always ‘me first,’ doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end.

“Love never dies.”

Love is a big deal. When you tell someone you love them, it means that you’re planning on loving them forever; you’re planning on always being on their side and humbling yourself to put them first.

Are you doing a good job of really loving your family? Do you think of them before you think of yourself? Are you always looking for the best in your family?

Are you loving your friends like Jesus loves us? Have you really forgiven your friends? Are you always rooting for them even if it means they got something you wanted?

Are you really ready to say those three words to a boy? Are you really ready for him to say them to you? Are you really ready to commit to never give up on your relationship with him? Are there other words that might better describe your feelings?

So, as we head into the season of love, take some time to think about the way you love.