If you’ve ventured into the uncharted territory that is the world of dating relationships, it probably didn’t take you long to realize that relationships are not always butterflies in your stomach, never-ending giggles, and, as Thumper so adequately put it, “twitterpation.” In fact, that part usually only lasts for a little while.

Eventually, you realize that relationships are hard work. You don’t always feel like being nice, you realize that having another person in your life means another set of opinions that you don’t always agree with, and sometimes you wish that you didn’t have to worry about having a boyfriend.

Don’t get me wrong, dating can be a lot of fun. If you’re mature enough to handle a relationship (trust your parents on this one even if you don’t agree with them right now), you date someone who loves God even more than you do, and you keep God at the center of your relationship, it can be fun and exciting.

However, if you’ve ever broken up with someone or had someone break up with you, you know that it’s not a pleasant feeling. (This probably is one of the reasons your parents and your youth pastor may be trying to get you to wait to date until you’re a little older to start dating.)

If you’ve ever found yourself counted among the brokenhearted, here are a few tips for getting through it:

Lean in. Psalm 34:18 (NIV) says “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” It’s so true. When you’re feeling brokenhearted, be aware of God’s nearness to you. Even though you’re hurting, He’s there waiting to comfort you. So, spend time leaning into Him and letting Him restore the pieces that are broken.

Let it hurt. Call up a few good girl friends, pop in your favorite movie, and scoop yourself some ice cream. It’s going to hurt, especially at first. Talk through it with your friends. Don’t try to go out and start dating again right away. Often, the first step in feeling better is realizing that it hurt, and letting God help you feel better.

Let go. You’re going to miss him. You probably spent a lot of time with him, talking to him, and getting random texts from him. You’ll still probably have to see him and it’s important to be polite, but it’s impossible to be “just friends” with him. Yes, I said impossible. There are very few exceptions to this rule and you are not one of those exceptions. You’ll want to still be friends, but it’s important to allow there to be some distance. It doesn’t have to be forever, but good rule of thumb is taking at least as much time as you were a couple to be apart before you start trying to be friends. Even if you feel capable of being “just friends” odds are, he’s probably not there yet, so give it plenty of time.

Let’s have some fun.  Enjoy time with your girl friends. Get dressed up just to go over to a friend’s house or spend time with just your girl friends. Having girl friends will be important for the rest of your life, so invest in those relationships. As much fun as it can be spending time with guys, no one will ever understand you the way your girl friends understand you. Concentrate on being a good friend to your girl friends, and you will have friendships that will last a lifetime.

Before you get into a relationship, think seriously about the possible outcome of starting a relationship before you’re ready to take on that kind of pain. Consider staying “just friends” until you (and your parents) feel like you’re old enough to handle a relationship maturely.

Breaking up is really hard, but it’s not the end of the story. It hurts for a while, and gradually, it hurts a little less every day until, one day, it doesn’t hurt anymore.