This time of year is always awash in conversation hearts, red cellophane boxes of chocolate, and pairs of teddy bears with magnets in their noses so they stay in a constant kissing pose (which can’t be comfortable). So, with all the pink and red and cheesy heart-shaped boxes, how can we know what real love is?

It seems like love comes in all shapes and sizes. The love you feel for your dad is different than the love you feel for your iPod or Golden Grahams. And how can you tell if you really love someone? Why is it OK to tell your friends you love them, but it’s such a big deal to tell your boyfriend you love him? 

Defining love isn’t easy. In fact, the Bible uses several different words with subtly different meanings that are all translated to our one English word – love.

First Corinthians 13:3-8 (The Message) defines love this way:

“If I give everything I won to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, not matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

“Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always ‘me first,’ doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end.

“Love never dies.”

Love is a big deal. When you tell someone you love them, it means that you’re planning on loving them forever; you’re planning on always being on their side and humbling yourself to put them first.

Are you doing a good job of really loving your family? Do you think of them before you think of yourself? Are you always looking for the best in your family?

Are you loving your friends like Jesus loves us? Have you really forgiven your friends? Are you always rooting for them even if it means they got something you wanted?

Are you really ready to say those three words to a boy? Are you really ready for him to say them to you? Are you really ready to commit to never give up on your relationship with him? Are there other words that might better describe your feelings?

So, as we head into the season of love, take some time to think about the way you love.

Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow yesterday, which means another six weeks of winter. Since most people would be fine with winter ending after Christmas, but growing up in the upper Midwest, I know that winter lasts excruciatingly longer than that. By this time each year, my sweaters, scarves, and hats have lost a bit of their novelty and I’m ready to move on to happier, warmer days. Here are a few ways to help dressing for winter a little brighter: 

Bright tights. Even the smallest pop of color can feel like a breath of fresh air in the winter. One of my favorite ways to add color to my basic winter blacks is to wear some bright colored tights. Not only will they keep your legs nice and warm, but it will freshen up the black dress you’d rather put back in storage.  

Cute boots. Living in a snowy climate for most of my life means I learned how functional boots are at an early age. This season, a cute pair of boots could be a great way to freshen up your look and keep your feet warm and dry. Here are a few of my favorite, fun boots. 

Go bold. Instead of sticking with safe grey, black, and brown, don’t be afraid to brighten things up with a fun, bold color. Here are a few of my favorite bold items. Or if you want to be a little more subtle, try adding a belt, ring, or necklace that will add a fun splash of color. 

So, brighten up your wardrobe and show Punxsutawney Phil six more weeks of winter won’t get you down!

When you start to define yourself by God’s standards and not the standards of the world, it can raise a lot of interesting questions. What, exactly, does it look like to live by God’s standards as a teenager in 2010? What does it look like to dress by God’s standards and still shop at the mall? How does God define beauty?

Living by God’s standards requires an openness to listen for God’s voice and be obedient on a daily basis. He’s provided us all of the answers and guidelines for living, it just might require some thought to find the right answer. Here are a few great verses on God’s definition of beauty. Take some time to think and pray about them and discover how God defines beauty.

1 Peter 3:3-5 (NIV) “³Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. ⁴Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. ⁵For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful…”

I love this verse. Not only does it tell us what “is of great worth in God’s sight,” but it also says that beauty isn’t about having good hair days and having the best accessories. Beauty is about being gentle and quiet.

Proverbs 31:30 (NIV) “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

This verse is probably quoted more than any other when it comes to defining a woman’s beauty, and with good reason. Being able to flirt can be manipulative. Beauty is great, but eventually it will fade. Loving the Lord and following Him with your whole heart is the best way to make yourself beautiful.

Proverbs 11:22 (NIV) “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.”

Proverbs has so many great little nuggets of wisdom. This one is a personal favorite. There really is nothing more disappointing than a pretty girl who flaunts herself around and acts without modesty. Guys might enjoy her for awhile (and if they do they’re probably not the best guys to be interested in in the first place). Ultimately, the best guys are interested in girls who are pretty, but also respect God (and themselves) enough to dress modestly and act wisely.

Philippians 4:8 (NIV) “Finally, brothers [and sisters], whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”

This is probably the most comprehensive definition of beauty in the Bible. The things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable are the things God wants us to concentrate on. Whenever you’re making a decision about what to wear, how to act, who to befriend, where to go, and what to do, think about it through this filter and you’ll have your answer.

The beginning of the year is the perfect time to do some major cleaning. I’m not a big fan of cleaning in general, but I do love the feeling of having a clean, organized closet. The decision about what to wear can have a big impact on my day. If I had trouble finding an outfit, I can start the day off grumpy and insecure. If I have an organized closet, those days are minimal. When you’re cleaning out your closet, here are a few things to keep in mind:

Ask yourself “Do I wear this?” The question is not “Will I wear this if I can find some shoes to go with it?” or “Will I wear this when I lose 5 pounds?” or even “Do I wish I wore this?” The question is “Do I wear this?” A good rule of thumb is if you haven’t worn it in the past 12 months, you’re probably not going to wear it in the next 12 months, so pass it along to someone who will wear it.

Get a second opinion. Make a day of it. Invite a trusted friend over or have your mom help you. If you’re not sure about something, model and ask for an honest opinion. Sometimes clothes look great on the hanger, but simply aren’t flattering. Sometimes things look terrible on the hanger, but look great on. It helps to have someone who will be honest with you. And remember: you asked for their opinion, so don’t be hurt if they’re honest with you.

Give it away. When you’re going through your closet, remember that everything you get rid of will go in someone else’s closet. If you have a top that you rarely wear, but a friend compliments all the time, offer to give it to her. Think of the girl who wouldn’t normally be able to afford clothes like yours, but could afford it at the Goodwill or from your church’s clothing bank.

Trade. Organize a clothing trade with your friends. Have everyone clean out their closets, meet up, and exchange clothes. But, remember that you just cleaned out your closet, so don’t take things just because they’re free. Only what you would be willing to pay for in a store. After the exchange, donate the clothes that are left behind.

Have a system. In my closet, I categorize by tops, jackets, pants, skirts, and dresses, and then organize everything by color. It helps me know where to look when I’m searching for something specific. Plus, it helps me see what colors I gravitate toward, and reminds me what I don’t need when I’m out shopping. For example, the last time I organized my closet, I made my best friend promise that she wouldn’t let me buy any more black shirts after I realized that I already had eight in my closet. Oops!

Be practical. When you’re organizing your closet, don’t go overboard. Don’t use some elaborate folding technique or super complicated hanger mechanism unless you’re going to be able to maintain your organization system. Remember that you’re still the one who has to keep your room clean and organized. Opt for function and simplicity.

Cleaning out your closet can be an adventure. You might even find something you forgot you had!

I have seen some strange things in my life. When I was seven, I witnessed a cow give birth to a calf, which caused me to seriously consider vegetarianism. A few years ago, I saw a car driving the wrong way on the Interstate. Just the other night, a friend and I were out to see a movie and saw a man dressed in a sweat suit, sneakers, baseball cap, topped off with a floor-length fur coat. I guess I missed the news about Joe Namath moving to Springfield.

My friend was quick to point out that that was “something you sure don’t see every day.” She’s right. I can’t say I’ve ever seen a grown man in a fur coat, let alone a floor-length fur coat over a sweat suit to the movie theater. (In his defense, Springfield has been unusually cold lately causing even the most weathered northerners to consider taking extreme measures to stay warm.)

Some might describe that sighting as “unusual,” “strange,” or simply “not normal.”

Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary defines normal as “conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern.” When it comes to defining people as “normal,” what type, standard, or regular pattern are we using?

As girls, it can feel like a full-time job just trying to fit in. Most of the time, staying within the parameters of “normal” involves having the “right” clothes, shoes, and friends. And as a bonus, the “right” things can change at the bidding of a small, closed group of girls who aren’t always nice and don’t take budget into consideration when making their decrees.

Having a personal sense of style or strong opinions isn’t usually a good thing. Making a bold fashion choice or standing up for a friend can bring heaps of ridicule and weeks of ostracism.

Romans 12: 1,2 (NIV) says “¹Therefore, I urge you, brothers [and sisters], in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. ²Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

As Christians, “normal” shouldn’t be defined by the popular group at school, what we see on TV, or even what our friends say. We should measure ourselves by God’s pattern.

Don’t get me wrong: being defined by a different standard than your peers isn’t easy. Hearing people make fun of you for the decisions you make is never fun. Remember that you are God’s and you measure your life by His standard. Eventually, it will get easier. Making hard decisions while you’re in middle school and high school makes decision-making a lot easier as an adult. And, the things that cause people to make fun of you in high school will cause them to respect you in college.

Plus, Jesus knew it would be difficult, so He left us with encouragement. In Matthew 5:11,12 (NIV) He said “¹¹Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. ¹²Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

So, in 2010, allow God to redefine your “normal.” Measure yourself by His type, standard, and pattern.

One of my most favorite Christmas traditions occurs on Christmas Eve. Our family opens most of our gifts on Christmas Eve, but my mom always makes sure that we open one gift first: our Christmas pajamas.

She even washes our jammies before she wraps them, so we put on a nice, soft, clean set of brand new jammies. Here are a few of my favorite Christmas jammies this year.

I love these flannel pants. Not only are they warm, but flannel just keeps getting better as you wash it. These will be sure to keep you warm and snug during Christmas.

This set is so pretty! Since most of our Christmas pictures are taken with all of us in our Christmas jammies, I always like to have pretty pajamas just in case the Christmas pictures get leaked for public viewing.

My favorite kind of pajamas growing up were one-piece pajamas with footies attached. I was pretty excited when I realized Target sells them in adult sizes. Too fun!

Have a great Christmas cuddled up in your Christmas pajamas!

Christmastime is such a great time of year. Everyone gets to be with family. Everything is happy and perfect. Except when it isn’t.

For some people, Christmas can be a time where difficulties of losing a job are magnified, losing a family member seems even lonelier, and tough family circumstances are even more complicated.

Isaiah 9:2-6 says,

“2 The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death ^[a]
a light has dawned.

3 You have enlarged the nation
and increased their joy;

they rejoice before you
as people rejoice at the harvest,
as men rejoice
when dividing the plunder.

4 For as in the day of Midian’s defeat,
you have shattered
the yoke that burdens them,
the bar across their shoulders,
the rod of their oppressor.

5 Every warrior’s boot used in battle
and every garment rolled in blood
will be destined for burning,
will be fuel for the fire.

6 For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, ^[b] Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”

This is a prophecy about the birth of Jesus. Hundreds of years  before his birth, God thought it was important to let us know that Jesus was coming to be a light in the darkness, to be a Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and Prince of Peace.

Jesus came to earth so that he could understand what you’re going through and how you feel. If you’re going through a difficult time this Christmas season, remember that Jesus came to offer light and comfort to dark and cold places.

Choosing the perfect Christmas gift for someone can be a big challenge. It requires time, creativity, and money, which are all things we tend to lack during this time of year. So, in an effort to help you find the perfect gift for the special people in your life, here are a few ideas:

Mom. Your mother is the person who brought you into the world. She’s changed your dirty diapers, put up with you spitting baby food in her face, and sacrifices daily for you. Christmas is a great time of year to sacrifice a little for her to let her know what she means to you. Your gift to her doesn’t need to be expensive, but it should be thoughtful and it should require some sort of sacrifice on your part.

Make her a goldleaf vase. Then, make a habit of filling the vase with flowers just to let her know you’re thinking of her throughout the year.

Buy her something she really wants. Pay attention when she says, “Boy, I could really use some new gloves,” or “I really wish I had a new pair of black boots.” Again, it doesn’t have to be expensive, but put some time and thought into what she would really want from you.

Dad. Your dad is the guy who teaches you how to drive and helps screen the guys who want to come pick you up for a date. He might not appreciate your macaroni Christmas ornaments or popsicle stick picture frames as much as he did when you were five, so take some time to think of something he’d really appreciate.

Make him a picture frame or refurbish an old one. Frame a picture of the two of you together and write a note to let him know how much he means to you.

Buy him something he’ll appreciate. If what he wants is a little out of your price range, suggest pooling money with your siblings or mom.

Sister/Friend. Shopping for a sister or friend can be easier because you probably go shopping together pretty regularly. And even if you don’t, it’s easier to pick something out you know she’d like. Sometimes making something for her can be more meaningful. Try knitting her a scarf or making her a box for all of your memories together.

Brother. My brother can be one of the most difficult people on my list. Since he reads this blog pretty regularly, I’m not going to say what he’s getting this year. However, I will say that I am giving him something that won’t just be a gift for him. If you give your brother these shoes, a child somewhere in the world will get a pair. If you buy your brother one of these, it will help build wells for people who don’t have access to clean water. If you buy him this great bag, it helps people in India who have disabilities make a fair day’s wage. 

Every Christmas, I look forward to getting dressed up for Christmas parties. It’s the only time of year it’s socially acceptable to wear a Christmas bow on your head and bells from your ears and I take full advantage of it! Sometimes it can be hard to know exactly what to wear to different Christmas events. Here are a few ideas.

Dressy Christmas party. These are the parties I look forward to all year. I love getting dressed up in velvet, sequins, and bows. A classic black dress is always a great idea. Plus around Christmas, you can pair it with some great accessories and stand-out shoes. If  you live in a cold climate, it would give you an excuse to wear this coat. If you’re not really into dressing up, a cute top with a jacket, nice jeans, accessories, and cute shoes could be a good option.

Casual Christmas. In our family, most of our Christmas gatherings are pretty casual. This year, I think I’m going to go with a cute, casual dress like this with a sweater, tights, and boots. (The dress is comfy and loose in case I get inspired to eat a few of Santa’s cookies). A great sweater like this with jeans and cute shoes would also be a great option.

Christmas Eve. When I was growing up, our Christmas Eve service was always the opportunity to showcase my Christmas dress. Even though I don’t usually buy a Christmas dress now, I still like to find something cute for our Christmas Eve services. This sweater,  skirt, tights, and these shoes are a great way to be festive. I also like this with black pants or nice jeans, shoes, and some cute accessories.

Christmas accessories. Christmas is a great time to go crazy with your accessories. I have a headband like this that I only wear at Christmas time. Here are some of my favorite Christmas accessories that could go with any Christmas party attire!

Have a great Christmas!

I love Christmas. I love setting up the tree, baking cookies, buying gifts, watching old movies, and snuggling up with a cup of egg nog by the fire with my family. Christmas music has already been playing around our house for a few weeks.

I love Christmas so much that sometimes I forget why I’m celebrating. I get so caught up with the presents, traditions, and family time that I forget to reflect on the reason for all of the Christmas cheer.

Matthew 1:23 (NIV) says, “The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him ‘Immanuel’ – which means, ‘God with us.’”

Not to sound too cheesy, but Christmas is really the ultimate act of love. God came to earth so that He could live in a human body. He came to our broken, hurting world as a vulnerable baby.

He grew up in a human body and experienced all of the pain and fun of being a kid. He made friends with other humans. He learned and used His human brain. He had human parents.

He loved people. He experienced pain and loss. He was tempted and resisted temptation. He got angry. He experienced thirst and hunger. He even got tired and slept.

He came to our world to experience all of the things we experience as humans. He understands what we’re going through. And He did all of this knowing that He would eventually have to experience a painful human death for our sins.

So, enjoy Christmas. Spend time with your family. Wrap presents, decorate, and listen to Christmas music. Curl up by the fire with a cup of egg nog and enjoy Christmas. But remember that we’re celebrating the act of God coming to earth to live among us. As you’re enjoying the Christmas season, take time to reflect on the mystery of God coming and living like us.